something happened within the past year or so. it's sad really. i don't seem to really have many good friends. and possibly this is just a part of living in the city. everyone's busy with their own things a lot. and maybe i just feel this way because i dont really seem to have my own "thing" going on. but my friends seem to be flaky. it's kind of sad that i felt like going out tonight, but i didnt have any friends to go out with.
and how do you even make new friends. ive sort of forgotten how.
my mind is chock full of stuff. it's insane.
i'm not going to my classes tomorrow. instead im going to go to the moma. i think that doing the latter is a bit more helpful to me.
and i feel this post makes me seem as though im sad. and im not in any way. it's just me being observant.
and as it always seems to happen i feel like every aspect of my life is going out of control. and when that happens i always make myself feel like im in control by cutting down on my eating. i've been eating far too much anyways.
and as anorexic as it makes me sound( and trust me im not), the feeling of having an empty stomach and being ok with it is the a big rush of control.
i mean if i don't really have any friends to go out with at night and really not very much money, the least i can do is get skinnier, right?
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